Importance of Service

I'm graduating in three weeks. That's fun and exciting. And terrifying. The most exciting thing about these next three weeks is the opportunity to reflect and remember some incredible things that have happened on this campus. More than that, I can look at how much I've changed, and boy have I changed.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: one of the fastest ways to grow - to change - is to put yourself in an environment that's uncomfortable. All of college has been uncomfortable. Service has been uncomfortable. Volunteering in the Dominican Republic with a bunch of people I barely knew was unfomfortable. Striking up conversations with those on parole that I was building a house with was uncomfortable. Refusing to shop somewhere because you know how unjust it is is uncomfortable. But I've grown so much because of these opportunities.

I've built relationships, seen through other people's eyes, and gained a greater understanding and appreciation for the world around me. I talked in my last entry about how although service is hard, I have found a place in this mess called humanity and have found a way to make it a little brighter. I still stand by that. Service is hard, and it's uncomfortable, but I've grown so much becuase of it.

I still remember some of those experiences from so long ago. I remember working with a few college students in setting up lights for a local high school production of The Little Mermaid. I remember those many days with RLC at Habitat for Humanity. I remember so many of the connections and conversations I have made from volunteering in Holy Grounds. So much of this has stuck with me, and always will. Service is as much a part of me now as breathing.

So there's no way I'm planning on graduating and forgetting everything I've learned. No, service will always be an important piece of my heartbeat. I don't know what it will look like, but I'm excited to see what opportunities I find to help others. Already, I have the opportunity to serve as a translator in Guatemala this summer with the First United Methodist Church. I couldn't be more excited, and more grateful to the Wesley Service Scholar program for giving me the growth I needed to get me to this point.

I can't wait to see where life takes us next.

As always, best of luck in the real world and God bless,

~XTopher

Service is Hard

Journal Entry for Service Scholarship - February 12, 2018

Doing service is hard. Not just because it takes up time, and I don’t have a lot of that to spare as I job search and look toward what happens after graduation. No, service is hard because of how it affects those doing service. On the surface level, volunteering is pretty shallow. It lets a group of people feel pretty good about helping their fellow human. It’s a good feeling: you feel good; you feel like you’re doing good. Too often, though, service stops there. We travel to a foreign country and take selfies with starving orphans as we sing to them and play soccer – only to leave them wondering why everyone keeps leaving. We hand out food at a soup kitchen or a shelter, but we don’t stop to ask why these people are hungry let alone what we could do to help.

Once we move past that barricade, though, service takes on a whole new identity. We become invested in the lives of the people we serve. Relationships are built along with the houses. We take time to hear stories and provide people that basic need: human connection. We move past service for our sakes and begin to take up their cross so that they can be freed from it for a little while. Volunteering at this level is hard. This is suffering and sacrificing even if only for a moment. We may never get the chance to experience life through the eyes of someone we serve; we may never have to go through that. But for a brief second, we give up our time, that feeling of “goodness”, our comfort, clean clothes, dry shoes, all so that another can bear them.

This kind of service reminds me a lot of a speech I did in high school: The Ragman. The poetic prose is a telling of the life of Jesus as a metaphor. In this story, Jesus is “The Ragman” who gives people his own clothes and takes theirs. By doing so, he gains whatever ailment they have (a missing arm, starvation, etc.) so they can have his strength. I feel like service is something similar. It asks us to take off our rags and give them to someone new. However, this isn’t the reason I said "service is hard."

Service is hard because it inspires me to seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly – three tasks that are not easily done. It drives me to want to help everyone who is hurting. The hard part is that there is no way I can live in such a way that reduces my carbon footprint, doesn’t encourage slavery, gives back to the poor and needy, and refuses to allow corruption. It’s just not possible. So, the hard part of service, is that I’m left feeling like I will never do enough. I’m guilty for all of the things that I can’t do, and the humility refuses to take pride in the ways I do help.

It’s hard, but it’s necessary. And fortunately, when I’ve reached this point of service – past the shallow, and past the surface, I find joy in what I do again. I sacrificed that feeling of “goodness”. I sacrificed comfort, and hot meals, and dry shoes, and so many photos, but what I gained is immeasurably better. I found a home in this mess called humanity, and I found a way to make it a little brighter.

“What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ.”

-          Philippians 3:8

Good luck in the real world, and God Bless,
~XTopher

March Forth

A couple years ago freshman in college me found an interesting pun in today's date. March 4th becomes March Forth (as in the command).

Imagine with me, if you will, you're decked out in military garb, a weapon in your hand. The rain is coming down hard. Your whole body is soaked from the rain and from sweat. The mud is sticking to your boots and slowing you down. You can't see between the rain and the darkness. Clouds cover the stars. Your fellow soldiers are on your left and your right, but you can only barely make them out in the dark. The sounds of war surround you. You're tired. No, you're exhausted. Your muscles all ache in their numbness. You want nothing more than to lie down and give up. The pools of water in the mud are beginning to look rather inviting. You hear people stumbling around you. Your grip falters. Suddenly you hear "March Forth; Keep Moving." And it's enough for one more reluctant push of energy as you continue to move.

Do you ever feel like that? That exhausted? That tired? That ready to give up? Because we all have - especially if you're living your life like you should be (see When S*** Hits the Fan). Sometimes the hardest thing to do when you feel like that is to keep going. That's why days like this are great, because even the day is telling you to march on. Whether it be your new years resolution, your recent commitment for Lent, a lifelong personal battle, a fight against injustice, or anything else, we must remember to keep going. Giving up gets us nowhere; it is only through perseverance that we get anywhere - that we prove anything.

Hmm... perseverance. What a fun word. Here's one of my favorite bible verses when it comes to perseverance:

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that sufferings produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

Whether in faith or in any fight worth the fight, there will be rough times. Whether it's because of persecution, self-doubt, life factors, growing stagnant, or a combination of all of these, rough times will come. But it's not getting knocked down that matters, it's getting back up. That perseverance builds character. And character builds hope. And as Jyn Erso once said "Rebellions are built on hope." So whatever it is you're rebelling against - whatever way you're going against the flow - do so with integrity and persistence. That's my encouragement to you today. Rejoice in your sufferings. Get back up. Keep going. March forth.

As always, God Bless and good luck!
~XTopher

Energy - the secret

"That is an absolutely terrible idea. You should see me on a pixie stick"
- Me responding to people trying to get me to drink coffee.

 If you don't know me, I have a LOT of energy, and when I say a lot, I really mean it. I've got this insane amount of energy that lets me just go, go, go all day and all night. I don't take naps, I don't drink coffee, I don't even exercise all that regularly, but for some crazy reason, I have so. Much. Energy. Not only am I super energetic, but it's like a joyful and playful energy, so I'm always in a good mood.

If you do know me, you know that all of those words are true.

So a question I get asked all the time is this:

"How the heck do you always have so much energy?"

It's been teased that if we hooked the world up to me, I could run it with just my natural energy. I have several friends that want to bottle up my energy and sell it (it's their get-rich-quick scheme). Well, for all of you that are blown away by my energy, want my energy, or are simply curious, I'm about to reveal my secrets.

That's right. For the first time in history, I'm revealing what gives me so much energy.

But first, a word from our sponsors.

Not really, but kinda. I wanna explain what doesn't give me energy. See, I've been searching for this answer for a long time, and I've done a lot of experimenting to see if I can get the energy to go away by changing my habits. I've tried the amount of sleep I get - not it. The amount of water I drink - not it. The amount of sugar I consume - not it. The people I talk to - not it. The weather - not it. The conversations I have - not it.

Now, I do owe some of it to my natural disposition, but there's more to it than simply genes, because I've experienced days and weeks without this energy.

I've searched for years for the answer to this question, and it was in front of me the whole time!

I ask for it.

Seriously. Part of my prayer every morning is for God to give me the energy I need to make it through the day - and boy does He provide. I could go in so many directions with how His awesome might and power is shown through this example, but here's what I want to stick.

God wants us to be successful. He wants us to be able to do the things that He has laid out for us. For me, that takes a lot of energy. For you, maybe it does - maybe it doesn't, but regardless of what He has for you to do, He already has and will continue to provide a way for you to accomplish that. Whether it be through natural talent, luck, miracles, friends, etc., He will provide.

But just because God has equipped me with a natural energy doesn't mean that He just gives it to me. He gives it to me when I consciously decide that I want to use that energy to further His will and to better the world around me. He gives it to me when I ask for it with those intentions.

So yeah, I'm naturally energetic, but God supernaturally blesses what He already gave me when my heart is in the right place - and He'll do the same for you, too.

So, good luck in the real world and God Bless,
-XTopher

When the S*** hits the fan

The Raw Truth

A Logicians Guide to the Uncomfortable Truth of Following Christ 

"In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,"
       - 2 Timothy 3:12

Let's talk about logic for a second. (If you absolutely cannot stand math: skip ahead to the big bold words that tell you to read here). I don't know if you're at all familiar with logical expressions, but for the sake of argument, the above verse can be expressed as:

"All people who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."

Then, if we let

Christian(x) mean x is a person who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus

and

persecuted(x) mean that x will be persecuted,

then we end up with:

"x, Christian(x) ® persecuted(x).


This is now in the form of an implication - or an if/then statement. We'd read it as:

For all x, if x is a Christian (a person who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus), then x will be persecuted. Exciting right? Well, it gets better!

Now that we have it in implication form, we can take the contrapositive (a transformation that keeps the same true-false values). In other words, we can transform the sentence to look different, but still be true.

Check it: the contrapositive of "if p, then q" is "if not q, then not p". So, we'd have:

"x, ~persecuted(x) ® ~Christian(x).

The tilde (~) means "not". In English, this would read (brace yourself): 

"If you're not being persecuted, then you are not wanting to be a Christian (a person who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus)". 

Read that again. That's some challenging stuff.

Side note: I know that the Bible was written in a completely different language and that language had completely different contextual meanings and that this "proof" is no where near concrete enough to show any absolutely indisputable truth, but it still definitely opened my eyes to something.

Here's where you should pick up reading again:

Being persecuted is a part of Christianity - it's a part of life. In fact, truly living a life for Christ means we will be persecuted. So much so, that not being persecuted is a warning sign to reevaluate our life in Christ. Paul isn't even the only one who points it out when he writes to Timothy. Jesus himself said that

"If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you."
     - John 15:18-19

Here are some question that were posed to me around the end of my senior year in high school through a sermon at church: Am I really carrying a cross if there is no suffering and sacrifice? Can I really say that I'm carrying my cross if it hasn't cost me anything?
I want this information to do two things for you.

1) Encourage you:

If you're going through crap, I want you to know that it's completely normal. It's to be expected, but no one said that it was to be desired. We don't have to love the persecution and say things like "I'm so glad that I lost my job because I just know that Christ is doing awesome things!" Maybe He is, but we don't have to fake it for Christ. Hard times suck. We know they suck. God knows they suck, but He didn't make us go through them alone.

Christ is with us, and what's more is that just after He told the disciples to anticipate hatred, He said that He was sending another to guide them. That other - the Holy Spirit - is within us as well. We are not alone. We have the Holy Spirit, and we have each other.

2) Challenge you:

If you think about the last time that you lost something because of the cross, or were mocked because of your faith, or had to sacrifice something because of your beliefs, and you can't think of anything - you may need to reevaluate your relationship with Christ. Now, this isn't to say that we will always be in hardships - in fact I just came out of a low time and I'm feeling amazing! - but, if you can't think of a time that you had to sacrifice for Christ, maybe you need to ask yourself if you're really living for Him.

I can only say this because that's the exact question I had to ask myself earlier today. I hit a point where I was comfortable. Life was going along, things were fine, people were okay, but nothing was exceptional. Then I realized that my relationship with Christ had also grown stagnant. As with everything, it's a process, but I'm slowly getting back on my feet. I want to challenge you to do the same. I pray that God shakes your life in amazing ways!

As always, God Bless and good luck!
~XTopher

KitKat Christ Break

*YAWN AND STRETCH*
*Deep Breath*
Wow. Thanksgiving break was wonderful (and much needed). Not only did I get a break off of homework but really all of responsibilities in life. During the times that I wasn't helping or partaking in some family event, I sat around, watched Hallmark movies, built LEGOs, played video games, and slept. It was marvelous!

There was definitely homework that I could have gotten done and some tasks that I definitely should have done, but I'm very glad for the break that I got. I think it really helped me to reestablish focus and productivity now that I'm back to school.

But with waking up late in the day and lounging around for the rest of the day, came something I should have expected. I got out of my routine, and so I would find myself going days without really praying or reading the Bible like I had been. That's something that I did not want to take a break from.

Now, just like with the breather from homework, the "break" from Spiritual Disciplines (that's the prayer, bible-reading, worship, etc. stuff) has inspired me to jump back into it and I'm very motivated to do so, but the "damage" that was done on my "break" may definitely have outweighed the benefit of added motivation. The way I picture it is like climbing a mountain.

The harder I press into the mountains with my spikes, the more secure I am, and the more frequently I move my hands up or find a new foothold, the faster I move. In the same way, the harder I press into God's word and the more frequently I spend time with Him, my relationship with Christ grows stronger and more rapidly.

However, in mountain climbing there is a force that is constantly acting downward on the mountain climber: gravity. While this may be a slight stretch of reality, the way I picture it is if the climber stops climbing, that gravity begins to slowly pull them down. In other words, if s/he's not moving up, s/he's actually moving down. I don't know if you've heard it said, "If you're not growing, you're dying."

That's definitely how I felt this past week. I wasn't growing. I wasn't climbing. So, I felt myself slipping. I began to lose more ground in one week than I had gained in weeks of spiritual discipline. So, from my own experience, my advice is to not take a break from God. Keep digging in regardless of what your current situation is. But, this is just based off of what works for me. I know that not everyone is the same, and I'm curious to hear what you guys think of this.

What do you think about "taking a break" from Christ? How has it affected your relationship with Him? Have you ever done it? Does the motivation afterward outweigh the cost of the break?

Looking forward to hearing from you!
Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,
-XTopher

#thankful

For all of you United Statesians, it's official. Google has changed their logo to a cornucopia filled with fall foods, Snapchat has a new filter featuring leaves and a turkey, the Macy's Parade has begun, and I smell rolls baking in the morning. It's Thanksgiving.

This is one of my favorite holidays because it's 100% focused on family and coming together. While Christmas is "The Most Wonderful Time of Year" (in my opinion), there are a lot of extra elements that go into the Christmas season like spending money on presents, the politics of separate holidays, Santa, and even Hallmark movies that can distract from the family focus of the holiday season. But Thanksgiving doesn't have those kinds of distractions (except for Black Friday, of course). This allows Thanksgiving's only focus to be on what it was originally intended to represent: being appreciative for the things around you.

It's so wonderful to be able to be surrounded by the people that you love while remembering all of the reasons that you love to be alive. It's really a great way to reset your heart and mind and put the focus back on what we have, rather than on what we don't. After the challenge that I was on this last week, I've really had a change of perspective. (Don't know what I'm talking about? Check out the post here.) It's not that I have more to be thankful for after I did that challenge. It's just that I realize how much more I have always had to be thankful for.

I can be thankful because of the amount of food I have to eat, for sure. As compared to those in poverty, I feast every single day, but especially on a food filled day like this. I can be thankful because, even though the home that I'm in isn't the home I'm used to, I still have a home to live in and family that loves me. I can be thankful for the amazing friends that I have and thankful that the friends I haven't seen in years are doing well. I have so much to be thankful for.

I want to encourage you guys to use today as an opportunity to remember all of the things that you're thankful for, but I always want to remind you to "be thankful in all things" (1 Thessalonians 5:18) and to remember those that have less to be thankful for than we do.

Praying for you and hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Best of luck in the real world and God Bless!
-XTopher

The Adventures of Captain Christopher

Ever wish your life was an action adventure story like those of Indiana Jones or James Bond. I used to think that would be the coolest thing in the world. What if I just had some voice narrating everything I did in some dramatic and action-packed way? Like how awesome would that be?! As I've gotten older, though, I've discovered that it would probably be a terrible idea for my life to be made a radio show. Want to know why? Because this is what it would sound like:

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and thank you for tuning in to 102.3 KLMB "The Boss" (Not a real radio station) On tonight's episode of Lost in Life (not a real radio show), our hero is once again desperately trying to regain the rare and valuable Free-time-ium (not a real item). But with individuals such as Lord Stressage, Count Activities, and the Evil Dr. Homework (Not real people) hot on his trail, will our hero be able to make it to the the temple of serenity (Possibly a real place) in time? Find out NOW! *STATIC*

On second thought, maybe it would be a pick-me-up to hear Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones narrate my life in that kind of way. Maybe I wouldn't be nearly so stressed. Allow me to offer you some advice: learn to say "no". Learn to say "no" to activities you don't want to get involved in, but you're too nice to say so. Learn to say "no" to activities you want to get involved in but don't have time for. Learn to say "no" to yourself when you want to do something but have other things you need to be doing. Basically, just learn to say "no". It's not worth it to be so overworked. Trust me, I'm there. And now that I've signed my soul away to all of these organizations, I'm stuck wondering how I'm going to deal with it all.

We've all been here and we all have our ways of dealing with stress. Since I'm currently dealing with stress out the wazoo, I will fill you in on some of my ways for dealing with stress tomorrow!

Until then: 

Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,

-XTopher 

#Below750

So this last week I was challenged to live off of the same budget that people in poverty live off of all around the world. So, for five days, I lived off of $7.50 - that's $1.50 a day. This was part of an awesome project to raise awareness of the conditions of poverty that so many people live in. So, what I did was I went to Wal*Mart and bought bread, peanut-butter, corn, black beans, eggs, and Ramen. My total came out to just below 7.50 and then that's what I had to eat for the week. Then, each night I posted some videos that were kind of a reflection over what I had learned that day. Here's a summary of those reflections:

• Rationing food is really difficult when you're hungry. You see more food. You want to eats the food. But you cannot eats the food, because then you would have no foods to eat on another day. This made Christopher Sad.
• Eating enough is also hard. So, you don't want to eats too much foods because you wants to eats tomorrows. But, if you don'ts eat enoughs today, you will be hungry and tired.
• I'm a student, so I'm not SUPER active, but people who live in poverty often are exerting a whole lot more energy throughout their days and are eating the same amount of food.
• Nutrition goes out the window. In America, we're so concerned with making sure we eat enough nutrients and don't eat too many fats and cholesterol, etc. But, when I was living off of only $7.50, I was paying more attention to which items fill me up and give me more calories than I was with what nutrients or vitamins I received. 
• We don't really pay attention to the amount that we're spending. Before I began the journey, I went to Burger King and got a burger for $7.99. That one meal cost more than what I had to live off of for the next 5 days! 
• Obviously this isn't EVERYONE in America, but isn't it interesting the difference in prices for one meal vs. one week?
• We're picky. I was walking through wal*mart shopping for my week, and I overheard a middle-aged couple arguing over which organic pita bread brand to buy. Meanwhile, I'm just looking for the cheapest items. 
• Authors note: I have absolutely nothing against organic pita bread or the people that buy it. I'm actually a solid supporter for organic farming. However, this really put things into perspective for me. We in America have the luxury of being able to be picky while many people aren't afforded any such privilege.

So, that's some of what I learned through this experience. Honestly, it was really tough, but I'm super glad that I did it! It was such an eye-opening experience and it was a fantastic way to reset my perspective of myself and of others. I encourage you guys to check it out. Just follow the hashtag #SCBelow750 on Facebook or check out Simpson College Spanish Awareness: Living Below $7.50!

Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,

-Christopher Hanson

Forgiveness and Paint Cans

So there's this great sermon series called "God's Will is Whatever" that was preached by Pastor Steven Furtick at Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC. I've seen the first three installments of the series and I've absolutely loved it. The third one is called 43 Shades of Orange, and that's what I watched recently. Go ahead, go Google or YouTube it (or click right here), it's fantastic.

Are you back? Did you watch it all? GREAT!
Did you not leave in the first place or give up when you found out it would take more than just a few minutes to watch? I mean, it IS 50 minutes long, but well worth it! I promise! So, for all of you who didn't go watch it or haven't seen it, quick recap:

Pastor Steven talks about discovering God's will and how difficult that can be. But, once we discover God's Will (or His ways) we need to DO them. We actually have to put them into application in our lives. He uses the illustration of paint cans representing the theological and spiritual knowledge we've acquired. We can stack as many paint cans as we want in the basement of our lives, but until we open them up and begin to paint with them, they're useless. In the same way, we need to make sure that instead of getting distracted by figuring out what is God's EXACT will for our lives, we can already be putting His Will into action in the little things every single day.

Of course, as I'm listening to this sermon, I'm nodding along the whole way and agreeing with every word of "go out and do it", "you have to actually do something", and "JUST DO IT" (I'm hearing Shia LaBeouf in my head for some reason.) But, as I've begun to think about things, there are some gaping holes in my life where I am not applying God's Will. There is some knowledge that I have that is still sitting around in the basement that I should be painting with this very moment, but I'm not ... because I'm scared.

So what am I dealing with that's so terrifying? Well, you know how there are all sorts of sermons on unforgiveness and how we need to forgive others like Christ forgave us and what a big deal that is? Yeah, I'm on the other side. I've done some things that have hurt other people in such a way that I wouldn't at all be surprised if there was some unforgiveness. But there's nothing I can do about it, right? I mean all of the sermons we hear preached are over the other person needing to forgive. So, I can just go on about my day without a care in the world, right? Unfortunately, it's not that easy.

I still feel terrible. I want the feeling to go away so I keep wanting to run and beg for these peoples' forgiveness, but I don't at all expect them to forgive me because I haven't forgiven myself. (*boom* life just got real) So what is it that I need to do about this situation? I'm sure I've got some color of paint in this basement that will help me. Somewhere over.. ah, here it is!

God already forgave me

This whole idea of forgiving ourselves is really something we came up with to represent what we do when we keep feeling guilty about something that we have done and continue to relive that moment. Yet I know that "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9. So, if I'm already forgiven, then there is nothing for me to continue to fret about right? (Wait, am I forgiven? Have I even asked for forgiveness from God about this? That's kind of step one.) 

To continue to wallow in the fact that I did wrong is kind of like a 5 year old continuing to say that they're sorry every 6 seconds after they get scolded for taking the cookie or bossing their sibling. (Trust me, I was one of those kids.) It's kind of pathetic (and - frankly - annoying) to witness. But, what I did wasn't just some cookie snatching, I really hurt another person. How do I deal with that?

Honestly, I don't even know if I have a can of paint for that one. But, I do have some people in my life who just might let me borrow some of their paint. If you're not catching on to this paint metaphor thing (e.g. "Why's he talking about a paint can?"), I mean that I've got some people in my life that may know more than me about dealing with situations like this. In addition to some great resources, I've also got a great God that is the ULTIMATE SOURCE OF KNOWLEDGE (I'm hearing that in some dramatic voice like the one who announces John Cena). 

So, this really is a struggle and a journey for me. I'll keep you updated with how things go. I'm just praying I learn something and that God's perfect will would be done in all of this. I'd love prayers as I try to figure this stuff out and as always:

Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,

-XTopher

#PrayForParis

This past week has been nothing short of a tragedy.

Other than my typical lack of sleep, the first half of the week didn't go too bad. In fact, Wednesday morning was actually quite wonderful. I spent some time cleaning up my room and reorganizing my space. I went through everything that I have and cleaned it and found a good place for it. As an 11 year old that would have been torturous, but I needed that so badly. It was almost a physical representation of me cleaning out my life. I took some time and analyzed all the things that are a part of me and found a proper place for them, throwing out the things I didn't need. Then, I took a shower. Gah, that was a wonderful shower. I cleaned myself of all the filth and crap that was clinging on even closer than the things in my life. (Picking up on that metaphor, yet? Just wait, it gets better.)

I'm not completely sure why I chose Wednesday morning to do laundry, clean, and take a long shower, but it just worked out that way. Once I was done, I continued my day with new energy. That's when the storms hit. If you suffered in those storms like some of my friends did or had any damage from the snow, wind, or rain, I am truly sorry. That was such a mess, and it seemed to come out of nowhere. Yet, I was prepared. 

I didn't have to worry about the horizontal rain getting into my room because that morning I had cleaned and shut the windows. I didn't have to worry about not knowing where the things were that I would need to survive the rain, because that morning I put them all away and knew where each one was. I didn't have to worry about fresh clothes, because that morning I did all of my laundry. When the storms of life struck, I didn't have to frantically respond to the tragedy in the way that so many others were doing, because I was prepared. 

Now, Wednesday morning, I wasn't cleaning in preparation of the storms. Rather, I was cleaning simply to clean, but because I did, I was prepared for the worst that life could throw at me. In the same way, I don't daily cleanse myself and spend time with God as some kind of insurance were the worst to happen. I do it simply because I enjoy doing it. But, because I do it, I'm prepared for the worst that this life can throw at me.

Then, Wednesday night we talked about - get this - how being our true and authentic selves is practically equivalent to making ourselves vulnerable and how beautiful that is. A friend of mine in the Religious Life Community gave the message and we talked about identity and who we truly are, and it was fantastic. It is such a great community to be a part of; we recognize each other as individuals and bear each other's burdens.

But, my week was far from over. Thursday, after I didn't sleep well because my roommate was screaming in his sleep, at about 8 at night I wacked my head on a metal bar putting away a cowbell (yep, that's probably the lamest story you've ever heard). This resulted in major bleeding, and then later a a friend giving me a ride to Mercy Clinic. My parents soon arrived to support me and I got three staples in my scalp and a tetanus shot. I'm doing pretty well now, but the thing that amazed me was the support I received from all sorts of people. People were liking and commenting on both my dad and I's posts and so many people were so authentically concerned with my well-being. 

That night, a few of my friends and I were hanging out and we were talking about all of the terrible things that have happened in our weeks. One friend got stuck outside in the horizontal rain hiding beneath a tree and screaming into the wind "don't let me die!". Another friend lost one of their dear friends to suicide earlier that week. So, if you had a crappy week this past week, you are NOT alone. We've all been there. That night we talked about how humanity comes together in some of the most beautiful ways when responding to hurt and pain. The compassion that I saw for one another was, and is, beautiful.

I thought that this was as bad as the week was going to get despite Friday the 13th being the next day. (I'm really not that superstitious.) But it was nowhere near over as tragedy struck Paris on Friday and I was again truly amazed by the amount of compassion as the world grieved for Paris. Go take a look at Facebook or Twitter or any social media and you will see #PrayForParis and people changing there profile pictures everywhere. What an amazing time to be alive that we can come together in such beautiful ways. 

I'd like to encourage you, like I encouraged people on Facebook, pray for Paris, yes. But also pray for those struggling with these "little things" as well. Pray for each place where terror and fear is striking in Japan, Paris, Baghdad, the Middle East, Central America, or even your own backyard. And also lift up those who are battling through depression, those that miss home, those that are stressed from studying, those that are all around us. Let us "carry each other's burdens, and in this way fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2)

I love you all and continue to pray for each one of you.
Good luck in the real world and God Bless,
-XTopher

Manliness = Vulnerability?

Word association: manliness. GO!

Manliness

• Strong
• Tough
• Facial Hair
• Mighty (Full of Might)
• Macho
• Godly
• Leader
• Do-it-yourself
• Hands-on

So, I actually just played this game with the girls that are in the same room doing productive things as I am. (Update, they are now actually listening to "Men in Tights" from Men in Tights and singing along. Possibly, my fault.) Anyways, not the point. The point is that these are things that some actual people think of when I asked them what words came to mind when I said "manliness". Some other things that are "stereotypical" ideas of manliness:

• Thick-Skinned
• Not-Vulnerable
• Don't Surrender
• Don't Show Emotion

So, why am I pointing these things out? For the reason that I cannot figure out why in the world that something so contrary to my "supposed" culture is so appealing/awarding: surrender. I've noticed in the past few months that being vulnerable is actually one of the most freeing, desirable, and amazing experiences that I can have. Yet, it is so contrary to the culture that I have been "taught" to live by.

Side Note: There are a LOT of quotation marks in this thing!

I've been in the point of my life where I have completely surrendered myself and gave up my every right to control, and it was the most freeing feeling that I have ever had. A great example of this is when I was a little kid. When I was young, my parents were basically in charge of everything. They organized my schedule, drove me around, decided what I was going to eat, fed me, etc. I had 0 stress even though I had 0 control... because I put my complete trust in my parents. My parents were the Lords of my life. 

In my current life, I get to have a similar experience on those days that I completely surrender my day to Christ. When I let Him order my day, things are so much less stressful. When I surrender my talents to Him, I perform so much better. When I honor Him with my time, I'm so much more productive with the rest of my time. But every one of these requires a complete surrender and openness of myself. I have to become completely vulnerable before Christ and sacrifice all of my control to Him. For a control freak, it's so stinking scary and difficult to do this, but it is such an incredibly wonderful and freeing feeling to be able to do so.

Did I mention that it's super freeing? I think I did. 

So, yeah. One of the cool parts about allowing myself to become vulnerable is the freeing feeling that comes with it. Because when I surrender to someone I trust, I don't have to be in charge of anything. And when I'm not doing so hot at adulting lately, not having to adult is great!

Stay in tune for some more revelations of vulnerability!

Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,

-XTopher

Superheroes to Super Revelation

So, I know that in my last post I said something about starting a series about superheroes, and there truly is so much I could do with that metaphor. I mean, when you think about any superhero team, it becomes evident that each has different gifts and powers. This is reflected in our own lives through bringing together our different abilities, experiences, talents, and positions in order to accomplish our ultimate goal: growing toward Christ and helping others to do the same. This brings about the second idea. The powers and abilities of the heroes we see in movies is similar to the talents we possess. In addition to our talents, we also have the power of prayer and the Spirit of Christ within us. This power is grown through spiritual disciplines: prayer, focus on the word, fasting, etc. much like the determination and will-power of many superheroes that we see as they train to become stronger. Lastly, they use their powers, will-power, and teams in order to protect their city, the world, or even the universe. This is similar to the way that we are able to protect our friends' and families' lives as well as those of people we've never met all around the world through prayer and acting like-Christ.

All of these things are essential to our walk with Christ, and they are cool to point out from a Superhero perspective. But as you can see, really it only took me a paragraph to write about it. I mean, I could have definitely fluffed it out, but I feel like the above paragraph hit most of the major points. The reason that I kicked off this "series" in the last blog is because I wanted something to talk about: something I would be able to talk about. The problem is that I've been focused on writing about thins that I already knew about. I mean, that's what seems natural. I have a blog, so shouldn't I be helping you guys understand life in some way? (As if I have any better understanding of life than you. Ha!)

When, in reality, this blog was originally to record my journey and not to teach anybody anything. The hope was that you would be able to learn from what I learned. I'm supposed to be seeking God with all that I am for a year so that I learn how to seek Him and learn how to grow. That way, even after this year is done, I will have the skills necessary to continue to grow in amazing ways. Then, I can share what I learn from my experience so that others can learn, too. The problem is that lately, I haven't been learning anything.

Why is that, you may ask. Well, concerned reader, that is a beautifully wonderful question with quite a depressing answer. The biggest reason that I'm not learning anything is because I'm not seeking anything to be taught. What does that mean? It means that instead of seeking God in this time I have set aside to do so, I've allowed myself to get distracted by the normalcy of life.

So, last night I was up until almost 4:00 reading books and studying life so that I can gain a deeper understanding. (I totally got one of those burst of passion.) I'm loving being back to learning and growing deeper in my relationship with Christ, but it took all of those things that I mentioned about heroes. I needed to build up my willpower, use my talents, and depend on those around me (especially the ultimate source of power). So, I have no idea what will come next, but I'm excited to let God be the Lord of my life and follow wherever he leads.

Hopefully the ride will be fun for you as well,
Best of luck in the real world and GOD BLESS,
-XTopher

Christopher Hanson: HERO in the making

So by now I'm sure you've all experienced your fair share of Halloween festivities. Whether you went to a dance, dressed up and hung out with friends, or just stayed at home and handed out candy, in some way or another, I'm sure you saw plenty of people dressed up as all sorts of different things. There were monsters and princesses, Jedi and cartoon characters, and my personal favorite: superheroes. 

For those who don't know, I'm a huge superhero nerd. Maybe not at the comic book guru level, but I do know enough to hold my weight in a conversation about something more in depth than the most recent movie. And, of course, I keep up to date on tv shows like Arrow and Flash. While I do enjoy these shows because there are superheroes and superpowers and complicated plots involved, I think that one of the big reasons that I enjoy them is in the way that they inspire me to use my powers. 

I mean, no, I don't have superpowers in the typical sense of the word; I can't fly, lift buildings, or turn invisible. However, I do have talents and the power to make a difference. I can choose how I use my talents, with whom I spend my time, and where I spend my money. Along with getting to choose what things I support, I also get to choose how I react to life. I get to decide whether I'm going to be a positive influence in this world or a negative one. In essence, I have the option between becoming the hero or the villain. 

In addition to that dramatic parallel between superpowers and myself, there are lots of different ways that superheroes reflect my life as a man-in-the-making and as a child of God. Superheroes have purpose, they have a team, they have their gear, and their city, and many other things that really fill me with a fresh passion for how I'm supposed to be living life! Okay, so I'm a little nerdy, but superheroes really click with me and hopefully they will with you, too even if you don't like superheroes (though I don't know how you wouldn't be able to). Anyways, these similarities are the things I'm going to be exploring and writing about for the next couple of posts. I'm hoping that they're able to give you as much insight and inspiration as they're giving me! 

As always,

Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,

~χTopher

I'm Baaaaack

Hey Friends,

First of all, major apologies for the duration of my abrupt and unexplained absence. Life has been extremely busy between moving, opera, classes, midterms, etc. In other words, my life has been crazy booked.

Second off, an update.

• My family and I have successfully moved in to our new house in the city. It will definitely take some time getting used to, but luckily I've had the chance to spend some time there this past weekend for Fall Break. Even though it's not where I grew up, it IS where my family is, and that's what's important. 
• The opera went very well and it was really cool to get to play with professional musicians. It really gave me a more mature perspective to music. Not only did I get to play with professional musicians in the opera, but there was also a touring musician that came through our town, and I got to play with him for a midweek service on campus. That was a really fantastic time and I'm beginning to take my music career a lot more seriously. Even if it doesn't become my career, music IS a part of who I am. Whether I continue playing in churches, with professional musicians, or just as a hobby, I'm excited to continue with it. This Just In: The band I play with for midweek service on campus has been invited to be the guest band at a weekend youth retreat! I'm pretty stoked!
• Midterms kind of suck. Just in case you didn't know, they suck. 
• Fall break was awesome. I volunteered a lot, which I love doing!
• I'm going to the Dominican Republic in May. Still pretty stoked about that.
• God is good. (in case you forgot)

It's been a while since I actually woke up with a sense of purpose, but today was one of those days. I finally woke up feeling like I was born to make a difference in the world. Maybe because I was able to catch the pilot episode of Supergirl on CBS and her inner struggle with becoming the hero inspired me? I don't know. More on that later.

Anyways, I'm feeling pretty great today and the only thing that I really changed was that I woke up and said "God, today is yours". Then, I did the unbelievable for me - I surrendered. Instead of just mouthing words and going on with my day as usual. I totally surrendered my day to Christ. Already, it's feeling great and I've only been awake for like an hour! 

I've done this kind of thing before and it's been an amazing experience; it's how I started this year journey. But, I hadn't done this in a while. Why is that? I'm not entirely sure. I know that we experience ups and downs in life and I can't completely tell you why they affect us so much. What I do know is that the reason that I was inspired to surrender this day to Christ is because of what a friend said to me last night.

My friend was talking about how they gave their day to Christ and EVERYTHING went right. In addition to a great and productive day, they experienced amazing growth. It's like giving their day to Christ moved everything together in just the right way so that their entire life began to re-center itself. Talking with them and realizing how excited they were reminded me of the experiences that I have had with the same kind of thing, and I realized how much I missed that feeling. I'm not 100% sure as to why I stopped doing it, but I'm definitely going to start working on getting back into this, and - with God's help - I know I can do it. I know that you can, too. "All" it takes is complete surrender. Trust those of us that have experienced it, it's worth it.

Best of luck in the real world and God bless,

-XTopher

"For I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength" Phil 4:13

"All things work together for the good of those who love Him" Rom 8:28

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." Jer 29:11

Half Full

I will not talk about stress. I will NOT talk about stress. I will relax. I will calm down. I will be fine. Deep breath in. 2. 3. 4. Deep breath out. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength. Deep breath in. 2. 3. 4. Deep breath out. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

Ever have one of those days? Having one right now? Go back and read that calming exercise again. Maybe two or three times. That's what I had to do.

But, I did make a commitment a few days ago to stop talking about how stressed I am because it wasn't helping me at all. So, let us talk about something else; let's focus on the positives. I'm even gonna make a list. Why? Because I like lists and because I'm the boss.

Reasons to not hate everything right now:

1.  I'm alive. 'nough said. Moving on.
2. I go to a kick-butt college with really great opportunities for me
1. I've got an opportunity to go to the Dominican Republic this May on a scholarship. While there, I would get to experience a new culture and serve in several different ways! I love serving so much and this would be such an awesome experience to do something I love while growing at the same time!
2. I've got an opportunity to be part of a summer research program in New Mexico. This opportunity would give me the chance to work on mathematical research and grow in my problem solving, communication, and mathematical modeling skills. I would also get to work with other equally excited students and professionals! (Granted, that probably sounds really nerdy, but you have NO idea how excited I am!!)
3. I get to be richly involved in the mathematics department, computer science department, and music departments at the same time. Yes, there is stress involved, but I am so richly blessed to go to a college where I can really do so much. I was reminded today of another college I visited that told me I would have to pick between all of my interests. At the college I am in, I don't have to. :)
3. I have a family that loves me like crazy.
4. I have some truly amazing friends that have my back regardless of my situation.
5. God Loves me and He is on my side. Nothing can really out-compete this point. I mean, regardless of what I'm going through, God is fighting in my corner. I love the VeggieTales Song "God is bigger than the Boogie Man". It's kind of corny, but it's so true. Whether it's stress, or sickness, or relationship issues, God is way bigger than anything we face.

So, why did I just list off a bunch of things that are spectacular about my life? Was it to make you feel terrible about yourselves and remind you of my superiority? No. Absolutely not. I did this for a few reasons. Number one, because it really helped me get some perspective and remember that my life is not all bad and that I'm not alone. Number two, to maybe give you an example of what thinking positive actually looks like. I try to be as tangible and down to earth as possible instead of preaching mysterious phrasings which sound very deep and theological but are difficult to implement because of the lack of understanding.

So there is my example of looking at the glass half-full. Believe it or not, for a very long period of my life, I was extremely pessimistic. I found the negative in every single situation. Luckily, I've got amazing parents that wouldn't let me get away with that. Through a lot of discipline and instruction and practice, I've learned how to alter the patterns of my mind and begin to see the positive in situations. I say this so that you know it is possible to change your behavior or even your thoughts. I've been there and if I (the crazy math nerd from the Midwest) can do it, you can do it.

Praying for you!
Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,
-Christopher

I'm Christopher

To catch you up: My life has been crazy for the past several years. So much is changing all around me and I'm having trouble trying to make sense of it all. So, I'm taking a year to myself to try to define who I am, understand life, and begin a lifelong process of self-growth. For the past week, I've done a lot of complaining, but now I'm ready to get back to focusing on God and who He has for me to be...

I heard a phrase tonight that beautifully captures a major point of this journey.

"If you were to write an autobiography, what would the first sentence be?"

Basically, this is asking what it is that we define ourselves as or what we want to be defined as. It made me wonder "how would I start it?" What words would I use to describe myself to an audience that knows nothing about me? Would I tell them I'm Christian? Or would I start out by saying I'm a male? Would I define myself by my age-range, my hometown, my political affiliation? Each of these things brings with it its own stereotypes and connotations in other people's minds, and I have no idea of what set of knowledge, experiences, or memories that my audience possesses. There is no way that I can predict how I will be perceived by what I use to introduce myself with because each person is so uniquely different.

In all honesty, there is really no "safe" adjectives I can use that wouldn't offend someone or give somebody the wrong idea of who I am. There are several things that I am, but based on how many people perceive them, I don't want these things to represent me: teenager, college student, Christian, even white or male. There are other things that I so badly want to define me, but I'm not sure that I can honestly say that they describe who I am: loyal, loving, caring, responsible, trustworthy. There are other things that I don't want to define me, but they may more accurately depict my lifestyle: busy, stressed, prideful, insecure. So, with all of these different ideas of who I am, and many others that I didn't list, I am forced to ask the question: which of these - if any - is me?

How am I supposed to define me? Do I define it based on who I actually am? Do I define it based on my worst qualities? My best qualities? By who I used to be? By who I want to be? By stereotypes that I fit? By personality traits others can understand? Physical features? Talents? Hobbies? Interests? What my major is? Who my friends are? How do I define me??

This has been one of the most frustrating questions that I have been asking myself for years. Let's be honest, this will be a question that I will be asking myself for years. No one can truly tell us the best way to describe themselves. I think that this is, in part, because we aren't 100% sure of who we are. So, how can we describe someone we don't fully understand to someone else? We can't. Like I said, there are no adjectives that can perfectly sum up who we are. We can't really compare ourselves to others because each of us is unique. We can put ourselves in "boxes" because we are way more complex than just one set of characteristics.

So, I've decided I know the perfect way to describe myself. This may be really anti-climatic and quite cheesy, but I love this idea. I'm going to define myself not by what I do, or what I like, or how I act. Instead, I'm going to define myself by one simple word: my name.

I'm Christopher. 

I don't quite know what that means yet. I am of the belief that we get to choose for ourselves who we want to be. We get to choose how we act and what we do. Since this will be an ever-changing state of being, there are no fixed words that will be able to accurately describe who I am. The only word that can continuously describe me is my name, because as I change, its meaning changes as well.

So if I can encourage you at all, I would love to say don't try to fit yourself into some societal "box" of specific attributes. Don't try to be "the athlete" or "the Christian" or "the artist" or anything. Don't try to fit in perfectly with your group of friends. Don't try to act the way that society expects your stereotype to act. Don't try to stand out. Just be yourself and be okay that you won't be the same tomorrow that you are today.

Maybe this is common-sense to you all, but it's new to me. I'd love prayers as I continue to figure this out.

Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,
-Christopher

Home Again, Home Again

Have you ever been away from home for an extended period of time? Maybe it was a summer camp, or college, or something more extravagant. Regardless of where it was or how long, do you remember the feeling you had when you got home after you'd been away? You walked up to that familiar door and opened it to a welcoming sight and smell that always makes you feel like you are home. You walked into the home where you can be yourself and relax and know that you are surrounded by people who love you. That's one of my favorite feelings in the world, and it's very much how I've felt this weekend.

If you don't know, my family is moving from the house we've been in for 14 years this Wednesday. That means that this weekend is my last weekend to be home before we move. As I walked up to the door on Friday, I realized that this feeling of "Homecoming" will be one of the last ones I feel for a while. I can't begin to tell you how much I'll miss that place, but I'm excited for what God has next. 

Not only is this my last weekend at home but also the last weekend my family will be attending our home church. All in all, there's a lot of goodbyes this weekend. It is so fantastic to be part of a church family! Not only did I get a ton of hugs and lots of heartfelt goodbyes, but the entire church family prayed for us before we left. THAT was awesome! I had friends' moms who I knew since I was little, my former youth pastor, and people who had seen me grow up praying over me and my family. It's so fantastic to be part of a church family like that. Which makes it even harder to say goodbye.

I mean, I love my campus church family, but it's not home, you know? This whole move thing has me terrified about finding a new place to fit in and call home. 

But here's what I know: my home isn't actually in any physical building or even with a certain group of people. My home is in Christ. Even when everything else is changing around me, I still have a home in Christ. The problem is that even though I know that intuitively, I don't fully practice that. I'm not truly rooted in Christ in the way that I want to be. So, I'm gonna work on that. I'll use this move as a catalyst in rooting myself in Christ.

Thanks for the prayers and know I'm praying for you.

Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,

-Christopher

 

Doctor's Orders: Rest

Alright folks. It's time. Here it is, in the flesh (well, in the pixels): the last post about being so stressed out. Now, I know what you're all thinking "But Christopher, we love hearing you complain so much! What will we do without your whiny posts about how terrible your life is?" I promise you all, you'll be able to survive without my excessive immature complaints. So why am I trying to get away from talking about stress? Well, there are a number of reasons. The largest being that talking about stress stresses me out. Unfortunate, isn't it? So instead of focusing on the stress. I've chosen to focus on something else.

Last night I told you all that I was going to be going to the doctor's soon to deal with my stress. Of course, I meant this metaphorically since I didn't actually go to the doctor's office to deal with my stress (although that is a valid option). But just like when our bodies are in pain we go to someone who has dedicated their life to studying and understanding the human body, when stressed it is wise to seek counsel from the one who understands our stress the best. Of course, I'm talking about Jesus.

See, when I'm super stressed, there's a few verses that come to mind.

For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
Be still and know I am God. Psalm 46:10

It's the second one that I have so much trouble with. In such a hectic world, it's difficult to "be still", you know. So, that's what my "doctor's appointment" was about. I had to take time to do something that is very contrary to my typical nature: I had to surrender. See, like a lot of American's, I'm very much a control freak. I like to be in charge of my future, my surroundings, my relationships, my education, everything. I try to do it all and use that first verse as my encouragement, but I'm missing an important part of it.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

I'm trying to do all things, but I'm forgetting that in order to do so, I need God's help. That means I need to give Him complete access into my life. I need to stop trying to control everything and give it to God instead. That doesn't mean that I stop working or getting things done. It just means that I give God complete permission to take over in my life. This can be a scary thing because with God in charge, I have no control over what will happen next, but the reward is well worth it.

Stress wasn't something that I was supposed to live with. It wasn't a burden I was meant to bear. So, I'm giving it to Christ, because He is willing and able to bear it. Not only will He bear it, but He already did. Just like Christ died so I no longer have to live under the curse of sin and death, I'm no longer obligated to live under stress either. So, since Christ has paid the price and bore my stress and sin on the cross, I'll just focus on bearing Him.

Phew. It's good to be done with stress. Such a relief.

I hope you aren't super stressed and that things are going well!
Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,
-XTopher

Stress: Home Remedies

So, I need to be done talking about stress. I've been so focused on stress in these blogs that I've had no escape from it in reality. It's like having a cold that just won't go away: I just need to go to the doctor and get the medicine and be done with it. So that's what we're going to do. But before I share with you the Doctor's Orders, I'd love to let you in on some home remedies for Stressitis.

The first thing you can do to overcome this ailment is avoid getting sick. Don't overbook yourself. Get stuff done immediately, and DON'T PROCRASTINATE. Focus on getting the important thins done and save the fun stuff for when you have time. Keep well rested, and try to avoid getting yourself into things that drain your emotional, mental, or physical energy. 

So, let's say you're already past that point. You've overbooked, or you're overworked, or you have a bunch of things to do and have no idea how you'll find time to do it all. Here are some of the ways I've been taught to survive and thrive in times of stress:

1) Do everything you would do to avoid stress. (Don't procrastinate, don't put more on your plate)

2) Prioritize. What's due first? What's the most important? What will take the longest? Get these things started first.

3) Split it up. Split your work into smaller sections and accomplish each of these throughout the day or the time you have. It doesn't always work to just push through. Take breaks.

4) Limit distractions. Facebook, Instagram, Netflix, texting, etc. are the worst enemies of productivity. Don't try to do both at the same time. It helps me to do work in a "work place" like the library or classroom so I get in to a work mentality.

5) Do something fun. Stress often comes because we have a LOT to do. It can help to take your mind off of the stuff you need to et done and do something that helps remove stress. Go for a jog, play piano, color, lift, go for a drive, talk with friends, etc. Careful: Use these things as ways to limit stress and not cause more.

6) SLEEP. Don't neglect sleep, it just makes us more susceptible to stress. 

But lately I've needed a lot more than a simple home remedy. Like with this cold I'm still battling, I need to swallow my pride and seek out a doctor. In the case of my cold that probably means visiting a clinic (bleh). As for my stress issue, that means seeking out the one who knows my mental state better than any other: Jesus Christ. Tune in tomorrow and I'll fill you in on how that goes and what He prescribes. Maybe it will help you, too.

Until then, 

Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,

-XTopher