Importance of Service

I'm graduating in three weeks. That's fun and exciting. And terrifying. The most exciting thing about these next three weeks is the opportunity to reflect and remember some incredible things that have happened on this campus. More than that, I can look at how much I've changed, and boy have I changed.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: one of the fastest ways to grow - to change - is to put yourself in an environment that's uncomfortable. All of college has been uncomfortable. Service has been uncomfortable. Volunteering in the Dominican Republic with a bunch of people I barely knew was unfomfortable. Striking up conversations with those on parole that I was building a house with was uncomfortable. Refusing to shop somewhere because you know how unjust it is is uncomfortable. But I've grown so much because of these opportunities.

I've built relationships, seen through other people's eyes, and gained a greater understanding and appreciation for the world around me. I talked in my last entry about how although service is hard, I have found a place in this mess called humanity and have found a way to make it a little brighter. I still stand by that. Service is hard, and it's uncomfortable, but I've grown so much becuase of it.

I still remember some of those experiences from so long ago. I remember working with a few college students in setting up lights for a local high school production of The Little Mermaid. I remember those many days with RLC at Habitat for Humanity. I remember so many of the connections and conversations I have made from volunteering in Holy Grounds. So much of this has stuck with me, and always will. Service is as much a part of me now as breathing.

So there's no way I'm planning on graduating and forgetting everything I've learned. No, service will always be an important piece of my heartbeat. I don't know what it will look like, but I'm excited to see what opportunities I find to help others. Already, I have the opportunity to serve as a translator in Guatemala this summer with the First United Methodist Church. I couldn't be more excited, and more grateful to the Wesley Service Scholar program for giving me the growth I needed to get me to this point.

I can't wait to see where life takes us next.

As always, best of luck in the real world and God bless,

~XTopher

Service is Hard

Journal Entry for Service Scholarship - February 12, 2018

Doing service is hard. Not just because it takes up time, and I don’t have a lot of that to spare as I job search and look toward what happens after graduation. No, service is hard because of how it affects those doing service. On the surface level, volunteering is pretty shallow. It lets a group of people feel pretty good about helping their fellow human. It’s a good feeling: you feel good; you feel like you’re doing good. Too often, though, service stops there. We travel to a foreign country and take selfies with starving orphans as we sing to them and play soccer – only to leave them wondering why everyone keeps leaving. We hand out food at a soup kitchen or a shelter, but we don’t stop to ask why these people are hungry let alone what we could do to help.

Once we move past that barricade, though, service takes on a whole new identity. We become invested in the lives of the people we serve. Relationships are built along with the houses. We take time to hear stories and provide people that basic need: human connection. We move past service for our sakes and begin to take up their cross so that they can be freed from it for a little while. Volunteering at this level is hard. This is suffering and sacrificing even if only for a moment. We may never get the chance to experience life through the eyes of someone we serve; we may never have to go through that. But for a brief second, we give up our time, that feeling of “goodness”, our comfort, clean clothes, dry shoes, all so that another can bear them.

This kind of service reminds me a lot of a speech I did in high school: The Ragman. The poetic prose is a telling of the life of Jesus as a metaphor. In this story, Jesus is “The Ragman” who gives people his own clothes and takes theirs. By doing so, he gains whatever ailment they have (a missing arm, starvation, etc.) so they can have his strength. I feel like service is something similar. It asks us to take off our rags and give them to someone new. However, this isn’t the reason I said "service is hard."

Service is hard because it inspires me to seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly – three tasks that are not easily done. It drives me to want to help everyone who is hurting. The hard part is that there is no way I can live in such a way that reduces my carbon footprint, doesn’t encourage slavery, gives back to the poor and needy, and refuses to allow corruption. It’s just not possible. So, the hard part of service, is that I’m left feeling like I will never do enough. I’m guilty for all of the things that I can’t do, and the humility refuses to take pride in the ways I do help.

It’s hard, but it’s necessary. And fortunately, when I’ve reached this point of service – past the shallow, and past the surface, I find joy in what I do again. I sacrificed that feeling of “goodness”. I sacrificed comfort, and hot meals, and dry shoes, and so many photos, but what I gained is immeasurably better. I found a home in this mess called humanity, and I found a way to make it a little brighter.

“What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ.”

-          Philippians 3:8

Good luck in the real world, and God Bless,
~XTopher

March Forth

A couple years ago freshman in college me found an interesting pun in today's date. March 4th becomes March Forth (as in the command).

Imagine with me, if you will, you're decked out in military garb, a weapon in your hand. The rain is coming down hard. Your whole body is soaked from the rain and from sweat. The mud is sticking to your boots and slowing you down. You can't see between the rain and the darkness. Clouds cover the stars. Your fellow soldiers are on your left and your right, but you can only barely make them out in the dark. The sounds of war surround you. You're tired. No, you're exhausted. Your muscles all ache in their numbness. You want nothing more than to lie down and give up. The pools of water in the mud are beginning to look rather inviting. You hear people stumbling around you. Your grip falters. Suddenly you hear "March Forth; Keep Moving." And it's enough for one more reluctant push of energy as you continue to move.

Do you ever feel like that? That exhausted? That tired? That ready to give up? Because we all have - especially if you're living your life like you should be (see When S*** Hits the Fan). Sometimes the hardest thing to do when you feel like that is to keep going. That's why days like this are great, because even the day is telling you to march on. Whether it be your new years resolution, your recent commitment for Lent, a lifelong personal battle, a fight against injustice, or anything else, we must remember to keep going. Giving up gets us nowhere; it is only through perseverance that we get anywhere - that we prove anything.

Hmm... perseverance. What a fun word. Here's one of my favorite bible verses when it comes to perseverance:

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that sufferings produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

Whether in faith or in any fight worth the fight, there will be rough times. Whether it's because of persecution, self-doubt, life factors, growing stagnant, or a combination of all of these, rough times will come. But it's not getting knocked down that matters, it's getting back up. That perseverance builds character. And character builds hope. And as Jyn Erso once said "Rebellions are built on hope." So whatever it is you're rebelling against - whatever way you're going against the flow - do so with integrity and persistence. That's my encouragement to you today. Rejoice in your sufferings. Get back up. Keep going. March forth.

As always, God Bless and good luck!
~XTopher