Are you back? Did you watch it all? GREAT!
Did you not leave in the first place or give up when you found out it would take more than just a few minutes to watch? I mean, it IS 50 minutes long, but well worth it! I promise! So, for all of you who didn't go watch it or haven't seen it, quick recap:
Pastor Steven talks about discovering God's will and how difficult that can be. But, once we discover God's Will (or His ways) we need to DO them. We actually have to put them into application in our lives. He uses the illustration of paint cans representing the theological and spiritual knowledge we've acquired. We can stack as many paint cans as we want in the basement of our lives, but until we open them up and begin to paint with them, they're useless. In the same way, we need to make sure that instead of getting distracted by figuring out what is God's EXACT will for our lives, we can already be putting His Will into action in the little things every single day.
Of course, as I'm listening to this sermon, I'm nodding along the whole way and agreeing with every word of "go out and do it", "you have to actually do something", and "JUST DO IT" (I'm hearing Shia LaBeouf in my head for some reason.) But, as I've begun to think about things, there are some gaping holes in my life where I am not applying God's Will. There is some knowledge that I have that is still sitting around in the basement that I should be painting with this very moment, but I'm not ... because I'm scared.
So what am I dealing with that's so terrifying? Well, you know how there are all sorts of sermons on unforgiveness and how we need to forgive others like Christ forgave us and what a big deal that is? Yeah, I'm on the other side. I've done some things that have hurt other people in such a way that I wouldn't at all be surprised if there was some unforgiveness. But there's nothing I can do about it, right? I mean all of the sermons we hear preached are over the other person needing to forgive. So, I can just go on about my day without a care in the world, right? Unfortunately, it's not that easy.
I still feel terrible. I want the feeling to go away so I keep wanting to run and beg for these peoples' forgiveness, but I don't at all expect them to forgive me because I haven't forgiven myself. (*boom* life just got real) So what is it that I need to do about this situation? I'm sure I've got some color of paint in this basement that will help me. Somewhere over.. ah, here it is!
God already forgave me
This whole idea of forgiving ourselves is really something we came up with to represent what we do when we keep feeling guilty about something that we have done and continue to relive that moment. Yet I know that "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9. So, if I'm already forgiven, then there is nothing for me to continue to fret about right? (Wait, am I forgiven? Have I even asked for forgiveness from God about this? That's kind of step one.)
To continue to wallow in the fact that I did wrong is kind of like a 5 year old continuing to say that they're sorry every 6 seconds after they get scolded for taking the cookie or bossing their sibling. (Trust me, I was one of those kids.) It's kind of pathetic (and - frankly - annoying) to witness. But, what I did wasn't just some cookie snatching, I really hurt another person. How do I deal with that?
Honestly, I don't even know if I have a can of paint for that one. But, I do have some people in my life who just might let me borrow some of their paint. If you're not catching on to this paint metaphor thing (e.g. "Why's he talking about a paint can?"), I mean that I've got some people in my life that may know more than me about dealing with situations like this. In addition to some great resources, I've also got a great God that is the ULTIMATE SOURCE OF KNOWLEDGE (I'm hearing that in some dramatic voice like the one who announces John Cena).
So, this really is a struggle and a journey for me. I'll keep you updated with how things go. I'm just praying I learn something and that God's perfect will would be done in all of this. I'd love prayers as I try to figure this stuff out and as always:
Best of luck in the real world and God Bless,
-XTopher
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